Chapter 7: Video

Chapter 7: Video

Despite the fact that it was now the middle of the night, and Jacob and I really should have been sleeping, we couldn't bring ourselves to even think about leaving. After my little nap earlier, I wasn't even all that tired; and there was no way I was letting my mom out of my sight any time soon.

We talked... and talked... and talked, about anything and everything. Jake and I told stories of our adventures over the years that often had the rest of the family in stitches, and then Emmet would crack a joke, or Alice would tell us about something similar that had happened to them, and we would be laughing too. It felt so good to laugh, to just be happy without feeling like the feeling was only temporary.

It turned out that Momma had taken one look at Jake, standing alone on the balcony leading off the living room, and thought that he had somehow tracked them down without me. Of course, she immediately jumped to the worst case scenario and thought I was dead. I made sure to stay very close to her for the rest of the night, for her sake as well as mine; every few minutes, I felt her hand brush against my hair, as if she were convincing herself that I was still there.

Jacob had been home while I was sleeping to grab us both a change of clothes. I didn't realise, until he started making his 'I’ve-done-something-I-shouldn't-that-will-make-Nessie-mad' face, that he was holding something behind his back. Of course, I noticed, although I was looking the other way and he probably thought I couldn't see.

“Jacob,” I said sweetly, during a break in conversation. “What are you hiding?”

He smirked. “Can't keep anything from you, can I?”

I grinned. “Nope. Now, show us all why you look so guilty.”

His smirk still firmly in place, Jake withdrew a silver disc in a blank jewel case. 'June 2014' was scrawled on it in black marker. I gasped.

“You didn't.” I growled, trying to sound menacing. He just kept smirking. Then he started towards the TV... and the DVD player.

“Don't you dare!” I yelled, springing up from the couch and jumping at him. He laughed, dodging my attack effortlessly and holding the disc just out of my reach. I could hear everyone laughing with him as I jumped, trying to get it, but always missing by a fraction of an inch.

“Jacob Black, give me that disc right NOW!” I half screeched. His hand came down a little, and I thought he might actually give it to me.

I was wrong.

Jacob flicked his wrist slightly, sending the disc spinning like a Frisbee across the room towards Uncle Em, who stood waiting by the television, much too far away for me to stop him. That didn't mean I wasn't going to try.

“Emmet, if you play that disc, I swear to god, I will find where you guys keep the matches.”

Emmet smirked just like Jake, and slid the disc into the player. I snarled, but my shoulders slumped. I was defeated, and I knew it. Daddy chuckled and got up, pulling me back to sit between him and Momma on the couch.

I didn't know exactly what was on the disc. Jacob had bought a little digital video camera soon after we were separated from everyone else, so he could document my growth better, and he still brought it out for important occasions, like birthdays and Christmas. Of course, most of the film was of me, with some shots of him that I had taken; there was a limit to what you could do with only two people. The date put the footage at some time after my growth stopped, so there couldn't be much. Nothing important happened in June... that Jake would be filming at least. It was before Billy died, so it wasn't his funeral or our visit home. We hadn't been on an interesting vacation that summer, so that wasn't it either. In fact, I was at a loss to how he could have a whole disc just for that month.

The screen lit up, showing a generic stairway. The person holding the camera was climbing the last few steps, but stopped when they reached the landing. There were no lights on, but I remembered the house; there was a window at the end of the corridor that gave light to the whole space. A full moon could light it up light daytime.

The door opposite the stairs was open a little, a warm orange glow spilling out into the landing and contrasting with the silvery sheen of the moon. From this angle, the camera had a clear view of the room; specifically, the little window that looked out onto a star-lit sky, and the figure kneeling below it.

My stomach dropped as I realised what it was. I glanced at Jake, and he was looking at me.

“I grabbed it at random,” he whispered, and the pained look in his eyes told be he was telling the truth. “We can turn it off if you want.”

I looked back at the screen, at my almost–seven–year-old self. I shook my head. “Leave it.”

He nodded, and Daddy, sensing my distress, pulled me closer to him. Momma moved with me, gripping my hand tighter, so that the three of us were huddled together, barely an inch between us. There was silence as we watched, and I remembered.

I knelt below the window, taking slow, deep breaths. It didn't matter how many times I did this, it never got any easier. The candle was lit, sitting on my window sill and flickering slightly. I held my locket in my hand, open, staring at the little photograph, and the inscription that was both a promise and a memory; the last words my mother spoke to me, and the measure of her love.

I brushed my fingers over the face of my father, studying the details of his smiling mouth, his eyes sparkling with love, his crazy hair that matched mine, his strong arms wrapped around my mother and I. A tear welled up and spilled over at the memory of him, so much stronger today than any other day.

I folded my hands around the locket, clasping it closed as I laced my fingers together in prayer, just the way Grandpa Carlisle taught me.

“Hey Daddy,” I whispered. I prayed often, but my prayers were hardly ever directed at God. Usually it was my mother and father, but sometimes I prayed to the others as well. Today though, it was Daddy.

“Happy birthday,” I smiled. “I’m so glad Jacob helped me find out when you were born. It makes me happy that I can do this for you too, after all these years of just doing it for Momma. I know you must feel left out.” I paused, taking another deep breath.

“I never know what to say when I do this; I get all tongue tied and nothing sounds right. So I guess I’ll just stop talking and get on with it.”

I released one hand, reaching out to click play on my little iPod dock, which sat beside me on my bedroom floor. The music began, only a single note leading me into the lyrics of the song I wanted to sing. I began, barely whispering, hoping Jake was still out on patrol and wouldn't hear me.

“God,

Our heavenly father.

Oh God,

And my father, who is also in heaven.”

My voice nearly cracked, but I carried on regardless.

“May the light,

Of this flickering candle,

Illuminate the night the way your spirit,

Illuminates my soul.

Papa, can you hear me?

Papa, can you see me?

Papa, can you hear me in the night?

Papa, are you near me?

Papa, can you hear me?

Papa, can you help me not be frightened?”

I had closed my eyes, and I opened them, kneeling up and staring out at the stars as I sang. I clutched my locket to my chest, holding it over my heart; right where my family was.

“Looking at the skies,

I seem to see a million eyes,

Which ones are yours?

Where are you now,

That yesterday has come and gone,

And closed it's doors?

The night is so much darker,

The wind is so much colder,

The world I see is so much bigger now that I’m alone.

Papa, please forgive me,

Try to understand me,

Papa, don't you know I had no choice.

Can you hear me praying?

Anything I’m saying,

Even though the night is filled with voices.

I remember everything you taught me,

Every book I’ve ever read,

Can all the words in all the books,

Help me to face what lies ahead?

The trees are so much taller,

And I feel so much smaller,

The moon is twice as lonely and the stars are half as bright.

Papa, how I love you.

Papa, how I need you.

Papa, how I miss you,

Kissing me,

Goodnight.”

I broke down, unable to hold in the tears any longer. They flowed down my chest as I doubled over, only just managing to shut of the music before the grief had me in its grasp for good.

The room remained silent as we watched the video. Jake turned the camera away from my crying form, and the screen went black for a moment before coming back on, showing an image of Jacob sitting down on his bed. He had obviously set it up so he could talk to the camera.

“Hey guys,” he said, speaking softly; trying not to wake me, no doubt. “I just wanted to say something, in case you ever get to see this. I plan on you seeing all this stuff I’ve filmed; that's kind of why I’m doing it. But Ness isn't so sure.” He laughed nervously. “In fact, she's pretty convinced that you're all dead. I don't blame her, I mean... seven years without any kind of contact... I would probably have the same reaction. Anyway... I just wanted you to know, this is not the first time she's done that. She thinks I don't know, but I hear it, every time. She sings a song, usually the same one, but sometimes it changes, every year on the day you disappeared, and on Bella’s birthday too... and Edward’s now as well, I guess.” He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands and running them up into his hair.

“I wish I could help her,” he mumbled, staring at the floor. “But I have no idea how. I wish you guys were here... but then there would be no problem.” He chuckled. “If you ever do see this... you sure took your sweet time. We've been worried sick.”

Someone paused the video, obviously deciding we had seen enough, and everyone laughed at Jake's last comment. I realised I was crying again, and I wiped at the tears, trying not to attract any notice; but, of course, Momma and Daddy saw it. They exchanged a look over my head, then both stood, taking me with them as they left the room. No one made a move to stop us, settling back into idle chatter. I heard Emmet say, “So Jacob, what else you got on film?” before I couldn't hear any more.

My parents led me through the house, back to the room where I had woken up; I realised that it must be theirs. Momma sat down on the bed, pulling me down next to her, and Daddy sat on my other side. I sniffed and wiped at my tears again as she wrapped her strong stone arms around me and held me tight while he stroked my hair. Happiness flowed through me as the realisation that this was really happening fully sunk in – which made me cry harder, though the tears were happy now.

“Shh darling, shh,” Momma whispered, rocking me a little like Daddy had done earlier. “We're here. You're okay.”

I nodded mutely, too choked to speak.

“She knows,” Daddy murmured, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “She's happy now.”

I nodded again furiously, and both of them laughed. Momma sighed.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that Renesmee. I wish we had been able to find you sooner, but we've had to lay low for a while, just in case. I didn't want to put you in more danger, but believe me, I would have been there in a heartbeat if I knew how much you needed us. We both would.”

“It's okay Momma,” I said, finally finding my voice. “I understand. We've been in the same boat, trying to keep a low profile, moving on when people get suspicious. That was a bad time, I guess. Emily had just had her baby, and Billy was ill, and... I was just stressed out.”

“Have you been in touch with the pack?” Daddy asked, sounding surprised.

I nodded. “Jake still talks to Sam, although he might end up being able to hear everyone soon. Sam’s thinking of quitting, which will make Jake the only Alpha.” I smiled, because the idea was inexplicably exciting to me.

“Have you been back?” Momma prompted, looking at me with tense anticipation.

I nodded again. “Once. For... Billy's funeral. That was two years ago, but we haven't gone before or since. Jacob thought it would be too dangerous. Everyone's doing well.” I smiled wider. “Grandpa and Sue got married.”

Momma smiled back. “Really? I knew they were getting close, but I didn't realise they were together.”

“Well, they are. Grandpa's an honorary member of the tribe, and they told him all the stories. He knows everything.” I remembered the bonfire that we had gone to after the funeral. Sam and Jacob had taken the place of Billy and Old Quil, who was too old to come up to the cliffs now, telling all the old stories about the origin of the wolf pack and their interactions with the Cold Ones. Then Emily had taken over, telling a new story, about the Cold Ones who were different from the others, and the special human girl who made them work together and turned them into allies instead of enemies. Daddy chuckled.

“What is it?” Momma asked, tilting her head to look at him.

“They wrote us into the legends.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “The story of the Golden Eyes. We're all in there, even me. It's all about the things you did when you lived in Forks, from the very beginning to the division of the packs and the Volturi coming. Emily got it all right, pretty much. She seemed kind of nervous, since I was there, and she asked me if anything was different when she was done.” I laughed. “I told her I didn't really know, because I wasn't around back then. That made everyone smile, which was nice. They hadn't smiled very much that day.”

Momma smiled. “I’d like to hear that story. Maybe we can go back and give them a visit for Spring Break.”

I laughed. “That would give Grandpa a shock for sure. I hope I’m there to see his face.”

We laughed together, then I cuddled into Daddy and closed my eyes, sighing happily when Momma joined our embrace. Everything felt so much better than it had this morning.

I realised that I was very tired. It had been such a long day, with so much going on, and I wasn't even sure that I had gone to sleep until I began to dream of bonfires and magic stories.

Chapter 6: All Together

Chapter 6: All Together

Daddy and I kept one arm around each other's waists as we walked downstairs to the living room. No one was there, but I could hear the quite murmur of voices in the front entryway downstairs. If I listened hard, I could pick out the voices of each person, if not the words. Each one seemed to match their personality.

Four deep voices; Jacob, warm and earthy; Emmet, big and booming; Jasper, calm and serene with a subtle undercurrent of danger; Carlisle, gentle and soothing. Two others, more feminine; Rosalie, soft and silky; Alice, high pitched and excited. No one else. No Esme, with her voice as smooth as the caramel her hair resembled. And no...

Momma.

I looked up at Daddy, panic in my eyes. Where are they?

He frowned. “I don't know. Your mother ran out as soon as she saw Jacob, and Esme went after her. They could be anywhere by now.”

I wondered why she had run away.

“I don't know,” he said again. “She's always been a mystery to me.”

He smiled softly, adoringly, his expression dreamy as he thought about her. Seeing him so happy made me smile too.

His grin widened. “Esme filmed your performance at Parent's Night. They're watching it now.”

I blushed and he chuckled.

“How about we give them proper show?”

My embarrassment deepened at the thought of singing in front of my family, mixed-up with a little apprehension. I was unsure how they would react; I had changed so much, and I worried that they would not like the new me.

Daddy scoffed and shook his head firmly. He took my hand and squeezed it in an attempt to dispel my fears, then pulled me over to the piano and sat on the bench, leaving me standing beside it, my hands resting on the edge, facing him with my back to the stairs. He looked at me questioningly. Still nervous, it took me a moment to come up with a song I could sing, but when I did, I realised that it suited my mood perfectly. Daddy nodded, indicating that he knew the song, and settled his fingers over the piano keys, before beginning to softly play the introduction. I closed my eyes to center myself, focusing solely on the music, letting it calm me before I began to sing. When I opened my mouth, the notes came soft but clear.

“I dreamed at dream in time gone by,

When hope was high and life worth living,

I dreamed that love would never die,

I dreamed that God would be forgiving.”

I opened my eyes, and Daddy smiled encouragingly at me as I continued. I sang a little louder as my confidence increased.

“Then I was young and unafraid,

And dreams were made and used and wasted,

There was no ransom to be paid,

No song unsung, no wine untasted.”

As I sang the next verse, I was surprised to hear a high, melodic voice sing the duet part, repeating the first line of each segment and harmonising with the end. Still singing, I turned to find my whole family standing behind me; Aunt Alice was the one singing along.

“But the tigers come at night (but the tigers come at night),

With their voices soft as thunder,

As they tear your hope apart (as they tear your hope apart),

As they turn your dreams to shame.”

I was saddened by the continued absence of my mother, and I raised my voice louder on the last verse, hoping, if I sang louder, she would hear me and come back. I was almost in tears as I did so, but my voice stayed strong; I pushed the emotion into my singing, as I had learnt to do at my last school.

“And still I dream she'll come to me,

That we will live the years together,

But there are dreams that cannot be,

And there are storms we cannot weather.”

Lo and behold, in the short instrumental between the third verse and the last part of the song, Grandma Esme appeared, dragging Momma behind her. Our eyes locked immediately. I couldn't look away, and the tears threatened to spill as I sang the last lines.

“I had a dream my life would be,

So different from this hell I’m living,

So different now from what it seemed,

Now life has killed the dream,

I dreamed.”

There was utter silence as the final notes of the piano faded away. My mother and I continued to stare at each other, our eyes taking in every detail; every hair on the other's head, every plane of the other's face, every inch of skin and stitch of clothing; all the things that had changed and what was still the same.

She looked exactly the same, of course, physically, but there were minute changes I could see. Her clothes showed their designer origins more obviously than before. Her face seemed at once more mature and more youthful than I remembered. I realised that, as a child, I had only ever seen her as a mom, my young mind and short stature making her look older to me than she actually was. Now, several feet taller and ten years more experienced, I saw my mother for the teenager she really was; we could easily have been the same age. And yet she looked older, because she too was ten years older, ten years wiser, and we had both been through the same kind of heartbreak, the kind that ages a person: the heartbreak of losing someone more important to you than anything else in the world, through no fault of your own.

After a long, agonizing silence, Momma moved. She took a step towards me, slowly, cautiously, as if she were trying not to startle me. I felt a nudge from behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder to find Daddy right behind me, gently pushing me forward. He smiled encouragingly and placed his hands on my shoulders, pushing me more firmly.

Deja-vu washed over me as, slowly, one step at a time, we crossed the floor until we stood face to face – exactly like the first time we met all those years ago. Her hand reached out just as slowly as Daddy retreated, letting us have our moment. She gently cupped my cheek in her hand, and I leaned unconsciously into her palm.

“It's really you.” she murmured. Her sweet, bell-like voice was exactly as I remembered it, promising safety and security and home. She sounded half choked by tears she would never shed, just like that day in the clearing when we said goodbye.

I smiled. “It's really you.”

I lifted my hand so that it nestled over hers, my palm pressed against the back of her hand, my thoughts showing her my utter euphoria at our reunion. Her own blinding white smile split her face in two, lighting up every part of it.

In that instant, it was as if a dam had burst; we could no longer contain our mutual joy. Her arms wrapped around me in the same instant that I flung mine around her. We buried our faces in each other's hair – easy to do, since we were the same height now – inhaling the delicious scents. She was sobbing, and the tears poured unrestrained down my cheeks.

More and more arms wrapped around us, squeezing tightly, until the whole family – all nine of us - was huddled together in the middle of the living room. Kisses dotted my cheeks, pressed against my hair; hands stroked my back and cold fingers ran comfortingly through my curls. Despite all this, my focus remained solely on Momma, even as the others began to pass me around. I clung to her, unwilling to let go, so that each person in turn was hugging both of us. Eventually, I calmed down long enough to give my family a proper greeting, though I still clutched Momma's hand in mine. As I smiled, bleary eyed, at the people who made my life so wonderful, and blushed scarlet as they applauded my performance, I thought again about how well everything had worked out.

Later, I was sure I would have plenty of questions for them, and they would have some for me. But for now, in this moment, everything felt right, and nothing bad could happen. As long as we had each other.

Chapter 5: Return

Chapter 5: Return

I was practically vibrating with excitement as Jacob drove out of town. He had the window wide open as usual, letting all the scents of the forest swirl in. It didn’t matter if it was raining or sunny, the car windows were always open. We both loved the outdoors, and neither of us minded getting a little wet if it meant we could be closer to nature. Every few minutes he would glance at the directions that Esme had given us, even though there were no turnings and no chance of going the wrong way.

The anticipation had been building in me ever since we left the school. I couldn’t to get the smile off my face, which seemed to make Jake happier too. I wasn’t paying him much attention, but every so often, I would catch him glancing at me, grinning from ear to ear.

Finally, at about five minutes to six, we pulled onto an almost hidden driveway and parked outside a huge house wedged right back into the trees. It had walls that were half dark wood panelling and half glass, and the whole thing was made of straight lines and geometric shapes; like a big stack of boxes. The interior, visible through the windows, was bright and pale, and I could just make out the big wooden cross that had belonged to grandpa Carlisle’s father, on its side at the bottom of the stairs.

Esme appeared out of nowhere, smiling and waving in the doorway. As soon as the car stopped, I was out and running. I threw myself into her arms, finally able to give her a proper greeting. I clung to her - putting ten years of love and longing into a single embrace – and breathed in her scent; roasted apples and peppermint, just like I remembered it. There was also that unidentifiable sweetness that hung around every vampire I knew, the smell my mother always called sunshine.

I didn’t realise I was crying until her cold fingers brushed the tears from my cheeks.

“Shhh, sweetheart, it’s ok,” she said softly. “Don’t worry, everything’s alright. You don’t have to cry.”

I sniffed and nuzzled my face into her shirt. Her hand stroked my hair gently.

“I missed you.” I whispered.

“I missed you too Nessie. We all did. Everyone’s going to be so happy to see you.” She pulled back a little to look at me and sighed happily. “More like your mother every day.”

I smiled. “Jake says the same thing.”

“Great minds think alike,” Jake joked, coming up behind me. Esme laughed and I giggled.

“Well, let’s not stand around out here all night. Come in, come in! You must be hungry. I have a fresh batch of cookies just out of the oven, and I need a taste tester.”

Jacob licked his lips and bounded up the stairs, where the smell of baking wafted from, permeating the whole house with its sweet scent. I shook my head at him. “Werewolves! Ruled by their stomachs.”

Esme laughed her soft, tinkling laugh and began leading me in the direction Jake had just gone. I looked around me in wonder. Artwork from various periods of history hung everywhere, creating a tapestry of styles. The kitchen was modern and spotless, of course, and opened out into a large living space. Glass doors at one end led out onto a wide wooden balcony which had a branch growing over the railing. The house really was beautifully integrated into the forest. It was so new and clean, and yet it fit so seamlessly, it was as if it had always been here.

I suddenly realised, as I walked beside my grandmother, that I was actually taller than her, if only slightly. I t made her seem much smaller than she had before.

“You’ve shrunk,” I giggled, and she laughed too. I got the feeling she hadn’t been this happy in a while. I knew I hadn’t.

“Only in comparison to you darling. My goodness, you have grown, haven’t you! I’ve only just realised how much!”

We laughed again, and fell into discussing exactly how much I had grown and how quickly.

Jacob managed to polish off most of the cookies, although I did get one or two. Esme seemed surprised when I asked for one, but didn’t comment; she only smiled and passed me the biggest one. I may not have been a fan of human food, but I had one heck of a sweet tooth, and anything packed with sugar was guaranteed to be a hit with me.

It was around half past six when the phone rang. Esme excused herself to answer it, and Jake and I both took another cookie.

“Cullen residence... oh hello darling!”

I had only been listening with half my concentration, and Jacob was focused on his food, but Esme’s words made me sit up and take notice. I touched his arm, making sure he was listening too.

“Is everything alright? ... Oh dear, that is unfortunate... of course sweetheart, I understand... yes... alright, but don’t take too long. I would really prefer you to be home tonight if possible.”

The foreboding feeling in my stomach deepened with every word. I had no doubt that one of my family was on the other end of the line, and that something was stopping them returning on time, but I couldn’t fathom what the delay could be.

Esme laughed.

“Yes, try not to let the boys get too distracted... yes love, everything’s fine here... oh, I see! Well if Alice wants to head back, I wouldn’t mind the company... of course... alright, I’ll see you soon... I love you too.” She blew a kiss down the phone and hung up.

“What’s up?” Jake asked. “Is there a problem?”

Esme nodded. “That was Carlisle. They had to go a little farther than anticipated, so it’s going to take them an extra half hour to get home. They’ll be here in about an hour.”

I huffed in irritation, and then remembered something. “What was that about Alice?”

She chuckled. “She just got a little panicky when my future disappeared about half an hour ago.”

We all laughed, and then fell back into conversation. We moved into the living room, and I played a little on the big black piano that dominated the space. In my absence, Jacob and Esme had moved onto more adult topics, and I wasn’t required to contribute as much. My eyes drooped lower and lower as I sat on the wide, comfy couch, leaning on Jacob’s wide shoulder, his warm arm around me.

I was vaguely aware of being lifted and carried gently. Then I felt soft, warm sheets, comfy pillows and lots of space. I rolled onto my side and curled into a ball before finally succumbing to sleep.

My nightmare didn’t take long to find me.

“Run! Run!”

The words echoed in my head as always; but this time, something was different. Instead of seeing through the eyes of my childhood self, I was an observer, outside of the action- unseen and unheard- only able to watch as events unfolded before my eyes. And I did not like what I saw.

My family were crowded together in the centre of the field. It seemed that all but the Denalis had fled; there were no bonfires at least. I could see my mother in the middle, with the others clustered around her; even gentle Esme was crouched defensively, teeth bared against the ring of black and dark grey cloaks that surrounded them.

One of the figures in black, who I recognised as Caius, raised one arm. In his hand was the little silver flame-thrower that had been Irina’s killer. He aimed it at the huddle; I could see that this angle would cause the jet of flames to hit my mom square in the chest. My father, who crouched nearest to her, snarled ferociously, and everyone echoed him, including me. Caius only smirked, opened the lid and raised his thumb, ready to set them all alight.

“NO!” I screeched, but of course, no one heard me. I tried again, louder this time.

“Momma! Daddy!” Louder. “Leave them alone!”

I ran forward, straight through the line of black, ignoring them as they evaporated into smoke at my touch. I grabbed Caius’ arm and tugged, but he remained as immovable as the stone he resembled. His thumb moved.

“NO!”

My own voice was so loud it jolted me out of my dream. I sat bolt upright. Sweat matted the hair on my forehead and I was panting. The usual disorientation clouded my thoughts, and so the voice that spoke then, though soft, made me jump.

“Hello? Are you alright?”

The breath blew out of me all at once, making a whooshing sound. I looked to where the all too familiar voice came from. There was no light in the room, but the full moon shone through the glass walls, reflecting off skin so pale it was practically white, and hair that burned a fiery bronze. Bright silver eyes, that I knew were really butterscotch gold, completed a face I knew almost as well as my own.

Unchanged by the decade that had passed since our separation, my father knelt on the floor beside me, staring at me incredulously.

“Everything ok? You were screaming.” His voice was gentle and soft, but I could tell from his tone that, though I knew him, he did not recognise me.

Oh god, what now?

“Nightmare.” I squeaked.

“Oh dear.” He smiled kindly. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but would you mind telling me what you are doing in my bed?”

I couldn’t hold the laugh that broke out of me then; his expression was comical as he tried to remain calm, polite and impartial while completely and utterly confused.

“Daddy, it’s me.” I said, my voice strong, looking him directly in the eyes for the first time.

He gasped. “Who...”

“Don’t you recognise me?” I began to panic. “It’s me, Renesmee. Oh please say you remember me Daddy, please!”

Tears dewed in my eyes as I thought about him forgetting me. It was too painful to contemplate.

All of a sudden, he wrapped me in his arms and cradled my head against his shoulder, just the same as he always did when I was little.

“Of course,” he whispered, “Of course I remember you. How could I forget my sweet, beautiful, perfect little girl? Oh Nessie...”

He broke off with a small choking sob, and I knew he would be crying if he could. I definitely was, tears of happiness streamed down my face as I clung to him.

Daddy rocked me gently backwards and forwards, murmuring softly in my ear. We both breathed deeply, inhaling the others scent. He had that same sunshine smell as Grandma, but he smelled like cinnamon and pine trees.

“What were you dreaming about?” he asked when I was a little quieter. His curiosity was clearly getting the best of him. “You kept shouting 'no'.”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t put into words the horrors of my nightmares, so I replayed it in my head. He cringed, then growled, then tightened his arms around me.

“You have these dreams a lot?”

I nodded. “Nearly every night, unless I sleep in Jacob’s bed. When I’m with him, I can forget the bad memories and focus on the good. But with my nightmares, they're more scary because I knew they're real. I don’t like them at all.

He kissed the top of my head, blowing his cool breath into my hair as he spoke.

“Don’t worry darling. You’re safe now. I’m here.”

And, sitting there with his strong arms around me, I knew he was right.

Chapter 4: Parent's Night

Chapter 4: Parent's Night

Esme POV

I watched as the kids disappeared into the trees, one by one, with Carlisle bringing up the rear. There hadn’t been a sunny day in a while, so they were taking the opportunity to go hunting. I was staying behind to go to the parent’s night at their school, and because I wasn’t particularly thirsty.

Carlisle paused at the forest’s edge and blew me a kiss. I waved and then turned back to the house. Like most of our homes, it was right outside of town, and very big and bright. No matter where we went though, nowhere would quite match up to the white mansion on the river, with its glass south wall and all the best memories locked in its walls.

As I walked at human speed through the living room, my eyes came to rest on the big black piano. It was beautiful, of course, but never had as much use as the old white one. The sound was completely different; there were no memories in here. I sighed, remembering the happy times.

“Again?” Edward asked, his false exasperated tone making me smile.

“Again, again!” Nessie squealed, bouncing on the stool beside him. The movement made her bronze curls jump up and down like springs.

Edward sighed, and she giggled, thrilled with her game.

His fingers began to dance across the keys again, playing a new song now. He had been through his entire repertoire twice over the course of the afternoon, but neither he nor Nessie ever seemed to get bored.

“What’s it called Daddy?” she asked, clapping her little hands to the beat.

“I don’t know. What do you think it should be called?”

Her brow furrowed for a second, and then she smiled and closed her eyes. A second later, her sweet little voice joined the piano, picking up the melody easily.

“Happiness,

Is your warm arms wrapped around me tight.

Happiness,

Is the kiss when you tuck me in at night.

Happiness,

Is the game that you always want to play.

And happiness,

Is the love you give me every single day.”

The song drifted to a close and Nessie clapped. Edward laughed, lifting her up and perching her on his shoulders before running out into the garden. Through the window, I could see him racing round and round, with Bella hot on his heels and Nessie giggling madly on his back.

Those were the good days; the times when nothing made sense, but no one cared. The lazy days when there was nowhere to go, and nothing to do but have fun. It killed me how sad our lives had been for the last ten years. What I wouldn’t give to see Bella smile, or hear Edward laugh. And maybe I would, soon.

That was my other reason for staying. Though the others were sceptical, - trying not to hope in case it came to nothing - Alice was absolutely convinced that Nessie was in her music class. I’d seen the drawing she’d done, and there was no doubt in my mind. Nessie was here, in Juneau, and she would be at the parent’s night. I was going so that I could see her.

It was irritating, waiting all day while the sun was out, before I could set off. I wanted to be there as soon as possible, to see her as soon as she arrived. Of course, having six children’s teachers to get through, I needed as much time as possible anyway.

When darkness finally settled over the town, I climbed into the black Mercedes and drove at twice the legal limit to the school. My afternoon of agitated activity, cleaning the house from top to bottom, had me in a frenzy. I had to remind myself to move slowly and not attract unwanted attention.

Talking to teachers calmed me down, distracted me. As usual, no one could fault my ‘perfect little angels’, as the girls’ Math teacher put it. Perfect 4.0s, unblemished records and glowing praise all round.

I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn’t realize they had arrived until Miss Lucas, the music teacher, appeared on a small stage at one end of the hall and started speaking into a microphone.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I trust you are all enjoying yourselves. I would like to take this opportunity to welcome the Wolfe family...”

She gestured with her hand, and all the heads turned to look at a very tall young man with dark skin and short black hair, standing quietly at the back of the hall. Jacob waved sheepishly and smiled a little.

“Mr Wolfe and his sister are new to the area, and I’m sure we at Thunder Mountain can do our best to make them feel welcome here in Juneau. I have the pleasure of having Vanessa in my class, and she is a remarkable girl. In fact, she has agreed to do us the honour of singing tonight. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen... Vanessa Wolfe.”

People clapped with Miss Lucas as a girl bounced up onto the stage and took her place in front of the microphone. Checking to make sure no one was watching me, I darted to the back of the hall, a few feet from where Jacob leaned against one of the pillars, and pulled out my cell phone, going straight to the video camera.

The girl had a slender figure, wrapped in boot cut jeans and a loose t shirt. Her hair hung loose, the bronze curls shimmering in the light and bouncing with every movement. Her wide brown eyes looked out at the crowd of faces, searching, while her teeth glittered in a wide, slightly nervous smile.

“Hi,” she said, raising one hand in a small wave. “As Miss Lucas said, my name is Vanessa, but I prefer Nessie, and I’m going to be singing ‘Where is Love?’ from Oliver. I think this is such a beautiful song, I hope you like it.”

She smiled another dazzling smile, and then nodded to the side of the stage, where Miss Lucas stood poised over a CD player.

The music began to drift through the room, and Nessie took a deep breath before she began.

“Where,

Is love?

Does it fall from skies,

Above?

Is it underneath,

The willow tree,

That I’ve been dreaming of?

Where,

Is she?

Who I close my eyes,

To see?

Will I ever know,

The sweet hello,

That’s meant for only me?

Who can say where she may hide?

Must I travel far and wide?

Till I am beside,

The someone who,

I can mean,

Something to.

Where?

Where,

Is love?”

The audience exploded with applause; a few people cheered, and I heard one man whistle. I shut off my camera and clapped with them as Nessie took a bow, smiling shyly. I shot a sideways glance at Jacob, only to find him looking at me in exactly the same way. He smiled, and then turned back to Nessie, who was just stepping down from the platform.

I decided to stop wasting time. I walked up to Jacob and stood beside him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from him; and to smell the wet-dog stench that clung to him. I pushed it out of my mind, not letting it distract me.

“Hello Esme,” he whispered, so low that even the closest humans wouldn’t hear him.

I smiled. “Good evening Jacob. I trust you two are well.”

“Very well thank you. One second...”

He shoved off from the wall, walking forward to meet Nessie, who had worked her way through the crowd to us.

“That was amazing Ness!” he crowed, pulling her into a huge bear hug that lifted her feet off the floor. “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing? You’re fantastic!”

She laughed and put her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to kiss his cheek.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would make a big deal out of it. Now put me down, people are staring.”

She blushed crimson, her eyes darting around the room at her audience. She looked so much like Bella; I smiled involuntarily.

Jacob set her back on her feet. Though she had, of course, grown to at least twice the size she was when they left us, she only just reached his chest.

“Come on. There’s someone who wants to talk to you.” Jacob murmured, tilting his head towards me.

Nessie turned. Our eyes locked, gold to chocolate, and her face lit up. Jake had to grip her hand to stop her running headlong into me.

“That was lovely dear.” I said when they reached me, holding out my hand for her to shake. She gripped it tightly.

Hey grandma.

Just two little words, but they made my smile grow wider. I had missed my little granddaughter so much. I squeezed her hand, letting her know I had heard, and then dropped it before people could become suspicious.

“Why don’t you two come over to our house tonight? The others are on a camping trip, but they should be back around seven.”

Nessie looked up at Jake, begging with her eyes and, I guessed, her thoughts; her hand was still in his, their palms pressed tight together. It made me wonder if she knew about the connection they shared, and what it could turn into.

Jacob pursed his lips for a second, teasing her. Then he smiled.

“We’d love to Esme. How does six sound?”

Nessie’s blinding smile lit up her face as I nodded.

Boy, were the others going to be surprised.

Chapter 3: It's Them!

Chapter 3: It's Them!

My jaw dropped. Just last week, I’d commemorated the tenth anniversary of the day that I was convinced, despite Jake’s protests, my family had died. Now here they all were, not 20 feet from me, and looking exactly as I remembered them. They seemed oblivious to all the attention they were getting, choosing to ignore the whispers and stares.

Hannah was still chattering animatedly in my ear.

“Aren’t they gorgeous? Everybody’s jealous of them. Doctor Cullen is one of the most influential men in town, even though they’ve only been here a year. Mrs Cullen teaches the kindergarten class at Riverbend Elementary, and they absolutely adore her. The kids tend to keep to themselves, but you saw how much of a stir they create; I don’t think there’s anyone in Juneau who doesn’t recognise the name Cullen.”

“What are their names?” I asked, mostly because it would be odd not to, but also needing to be absolutely sure. I couldn’t take my eyes off them, afraid that the second I turned away they would vanish, and I would wake up, and it would all be a dream. They were leaning towards each other now, ignoring their lunch trays and talking in hushed whispers that I couldn’t make out, even with hearing more sensitive than a human’s.

“The big boy with the dark hair is Emmet. You’ll probably recognise Alice; she’s the little one in our music class. The blondes are the Hale twins, Rosalie and Jasper; they’re Mrs Cullen’s niece and nephew I think. The other girl is Bella, and the boy is Edward. You know, I’ve just realized why your hair looked familiar; it’s exactly like his. It’s a shame none of them are single, although they’d be snapped up in a second. You should have seen Bella when a senior tried to ask Edward to prom last year. Lucy was there, she swears Bella growled at the girl. Actually growled, like a lion.”

Hannah was fading into the background. My eyes were still fixed on my family; for I had no doubt now that it was them. Everything fit; the names, the story, and faces like that weren’t exactly common.

I watched as their hushed discussion got more heated. The volume rose, and I was able to hear snippets of what they were saying.

“Are you positive it was her, Alice?”

“You think I would lie about something this big Emmet? Or don’t you think I know my niece when I see her. Just look...”

Alice pulled out the sketch pad she had been using before and put it the middle of the table so they could all see. It suddenly dawned on me then; what she had been so furiously scribbling. It must be me. She had drawn me to prove that she was right.

Their heads all came up at once, eyes flicking from face to face, looking for something.

Looking for me.

I decided they needed a hand. But before I could act, a hand waved in front of my face, making me blink.

“Hellooo, earth to Nessie!” one of the girls, Sandra, said.

“You ok Ness?” Hannah asked. “You look kind of sick.”

Then, before I could stop her, she put a hand to my forehead. She snatched it back almost instantly.

“Jesus, Nessie, you’re HOT!” she squealed, then grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards the door. “I’m taking you to the nurse, right now! That temperature cannot be healthy.”

I let her lead me. I would take this opportunity; fake an illness, go home, and talk to Jake. Because I really needed to talk to him. I couldn’t wait through two more hours to tell him what I had seen.

The nurse accepted my bluff without much bother, clearly frightened by the unnaturally hot temperature of my skin. Jacob turned up just 15 minutes after the receptionist called him, looking very worried. He waited until we were in the car before he started asking questions.

“Are you alright? You never get sick.”

I sighed. “I’m fine. One of the girls thought I didn’t look well, then overreacted when she felt my forehead. No big deal... but I played along, because I need to talk to you.”

He relaxed visibly, still slightly tense as he waited for me to speak. When I didn’t, he peeked at me from the corner of his eye.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, looking worried.

“It can wait until we get home. You probably shouldn’t hear it while you’re driving; we don’t want to have an accident.” I smiled.

He winced. “That bad?”
“No, not bad.” I shook my head. “Just...surprising. And unexpected.”

Jacob looked at me speculatively for a moment, then shrugged and turned back to the road.

After he parked the car, he pulled me inside as fast as he could, considering the possibility we could be spotted, and sat me down on the couch in the living room.

“Alright,” he said, sitting beside me, “Spill.”

I giggled at how much like Hannah he sounded, then took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

“I found them.”

Jake looked confused. “Found who?”

I huffed. How he could be so clueless was beyond me. I took one of his hands in both of mine, and replayed the scene from earlier. I heard him gasp, but I had my eyes closed, focused on getting every detail perfect; the voices, the faces, the explanation Hannah had given me.

When I was finished, I looked at him, studying his face for any sign of a reaction. All I could see was blank shock and confusion. Then he blinked twice and seemed to come back to earth.

“Are you sure?”

That was exactly the question I had hoped he wouldn’t ask, not because I was unsure, but because it was annoying. I huffed again, thoroughly disgruntled.

“Do you think I would say anything about it if I wasn’t? You know me better than that Jake. It’s them, I’m certain.”

He seemed lost in thought for a moment. Just when I was beginning to get worried, he turned to look at me.

“Ok, this is what we’re gonna do. We take things slow; too much too fast could give us unwanted attention. We let them lead, do this at their pace and in their time. You are going to stay off school tomorrow, just to keep up the sick façade, but we are both going to that parent teacher conference on Wednesday after school. Most likely they’ll be there, and I can get a look at them. Until I am convinced this is safe, you are not leaving this house without me, understood?”

I nodded enthusiastically, thrilled that he seemed willing to accept what I had seen. House arrest was a small price to pay if it got me to my family.

________________________________________________________________________

Work with Jake the next day was actually kind of fun. The garage wasn’t big, 5 or 6 guys and the boss, Mike, working on various projects. Jake had a big silver motorbike that needed a complete refit, and I was happy just to sit and watch him work, handing him tools when he asked for them. I suddenly remembered a story he had told me once, from before I was born. I knew a little bit about the time my dad left my mom, but not much. So I was intrigued by the idea of my graceful, sensible mother deliberately deceiving Grandpa and messing around with motorbikes. In my current position, sitting a few feet back from Jake as he tinkered with the engine, chatting and laughing, I thought I could understand why she liked it so much.

My mind began to wander, spinning back to about two years ago. The only time we had been back to Forks since we left. Jake had, of course, kept in contact with his pack. He had been quick to establish that they were all safe; not one single wolf had been hurt, beyond a few cuts and scrapes that healed before they were even noticed.

One morning, I woke up to a horrendous howling outside my window. When I looked out, Jake was sprawled on the grass in his wolf form, fat tears spilling from his eyes. It turned out that his dad, Billy, had passed away, and Jacob had just got the news from Sam as he was arriving home.

We headed up north straight away, running rather than trying to arrange a flight. The funeral was a sombre affair, very small and select. I was the only one there that wasn’t Quileute, but I didn’t feel out of things. Everyone welcomed me with open arms. Grandpa was there, of course. He and Sue had gotten married while we were away, and he was in on every secret, making Momma’s letter to him almost irrelevant, but we delivered it again.

From what the pack could tell us, all our friends had made it out safely too, but none of them knew what had happened to my family. When they told us, I had burst into tears almost immediately. Unexpectedly, Leah was the one to try and comfort me, wrapping her arms around me and letting me sob into her shirt. When I asked her why later on, she just shrugged and said, “We’re family now.”

We took a quick detour before we went home, checking in with Tanya’s family. They were happy to see us, but couldn’t tell us much more than the wolves had, only adding that the last they saw, the others were chasing the last of the retreating guard into the mountains.

After dinner that night, I fell asleep quickly, my sleep filled with dreams rather than nightmares. The past, the present and the future were all mixed together in my unconscious mind; pleasant memories of my childhood, pre and post December 30^th; my happiness with Jacob; visions of being reunited with my parents. I had no doubt that everything was going to work out ok.

My life was heading for perfection.

Chapter 2: Recognition

Chapter 2: Recognition

Thunder Mountain High School has a total of 425 students (including me) and 27 teachers. It is slap bang in the middle of Juneau, although the place is so small that it isn’t very hard to be in the middle. The campus isn’t big, but the school is fairly new, so they still have plans to expand. It would be tolerable; not as big as my last school. Closer knit friendships could be formed in a place like this.

My first lesson was Calculus. The teacher sat me next to a bubbly, smiling girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail and green eyes framed by thick lashes. She sprang up as I went to take my seat, hand outstretched.

“Hi, I’m Hannah Berry!” she trilled, “I love your hair! Where do you have to go to get that colour? It’s gorgeous. Oh! I’m sorry, I’m so rude. What’s your name?”

Like she didn’t already know. I was probably gossip here.

“I’m Vanessa Wolfe, and the hair is natural.” I smiled shyly. People always commented on my hair. It made me stick out even more. I used to complain, but when Jacob suggested dying it, I was so horrified I never said another word on the subject. I wasn’t changing one thing about my physical appearance; my reflection in the mirror was all I had to remind me of my parents.

Hannah sat down, apparently forgetting that she was waiting for a handshake, and I sat too. She continued to babble on about this that and the other, asking the odd question in between. She was ‘convinced that we would be BFFs in no time’, and invited me to sit with her group at lunch. I accepted, grateful that I wouldn’t be sat alone. Despite all the excess energy, Hannah was a really nice girl, and the only one in the whole class who even tried to be friendly. We had identical schedules, which made her even more excited, and she walked with me to every lesson.

We had Music right before lunch, and I felt almost optimistic as I introduced myself to the teacher and took the seat beside Hannah. The other students gave me curious looks as they entered if they hadn’t seen me already, and a few of Hannah’s friends came over to say hi. One of the boys, a chirpy boy with glasses perched on his nose, nervously introduced himself as Freddie. The girls giggled as he retreated, but I ignored them. I was surprised to see a boy in this class; it was an elective block, and most of the other boys had headed for the wood shop rooms on the other side of campus.

Miss Lucas called the class to order then, and they ran to their seats.

“Now then, as I’m sure you’re all aware, we have a new student today.” She waved me forward, and I went to stand at the front of the class. I kept my eyes down and bit my lip, trying not to blush at this public exhibition.

“Vanessa has just moved here from Seattle, so I want you all to be welcoming and help her get settled.” She turned to me. “Now dear, I have a little tradition in my class. Each new student must either sing or play a song that has a special meaning for them and tells us something about them. So...” She gestured to the space in the middle of the loose semi-circle of desks. “Take it away.”

I stepped forward nervously. I liked singing; it was another escape. To be so utterly lost in melody and lyrics was heaven. I thought I was good, but I had never sung with an audience before. Even Jake hadn’t heard me before.

“Well, um...” I began, unsure of how to begin, “I’ve always liked ‘Butterfly Fly Away’ by Miley Cyrus. I could sing that, I guess.”

Miss Lucas smiled. “Of course dear. Is there any particular reason why you would choose that song?”

I thought for a moment. “It makes me think of... my brother. My parents... passed away when I was quite young, and he pretty much raised me.”

Hannah gave me a sympathetic look, and some of the other girls ‘awed’.

One of them didn’t seem to be paying attention at all. She was scribbling on a drawing pad, so all I could see of her was a mop of spiky black hair. There was something familiar about the girl, something I couldn’t place.

Everyone was waiting for me to start, so I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and started singing.

“Tucked me in, turned out the light,

Kept me safe and sound at night,

Little girls depend on things like that.

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair,

Had to drive me everywhere,

You were always there when I looked back.

You had to do it all alone,

Make a living make a home,

Must have been as hard as it could be.

And when I couldn’t sleep at night,

Scared things wouldn’t turn out right,

You would hold my hand and sing to me.

Caterpillar in the tree,

How you wonder who you’ll be,

Can’t go far but you can always dream.

Wish you may and wish you might,

Don’t you worry, hold on tight,

I promise you that there will come a day,

Butterfly fly away.

Butterfly fly away,

Got your wings now you can’t stay,

Take those dreams and make them all come true.

Butterfly fly away,

We’ve been waiting for this day,

All along you’ve known just what to do.

Butterfly,

Butterfly,

Butterfly,

Butterfly fly away.”

I opened my eyes as the class applauded and took my seat. I realised there were tears on my cheeks, and hastily brushed them away, embarrassed to be crying in public. Hannah squeezed my hand reassuringly, and I smiled at her. The black haired girl was still sketching furiously, and I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew her from somewhere.

________________________________________________________________________

Hannah’s lunch table was crowded when we arrived. She introduced me to everyone I didn’t know, and they immediately started asking questions. It felt like Jake’s quizzing this morning. I was glad when they finally seemed satisfied and I could eat my lunch in peace.

Trying to distract myself from the dirt I was putting in my mouth, I scanned the lunch room, taking in the separate groups. They all seemed to polarize as they entered.

The smart kids sat together, pouring over textbooks and discussing homework.

The comic book geeks were next to them, swapping action figures and comparing story lines. They were currently locked in debating who would win a Spider-man vs. Batman showdown.

On the other side of the room were the popular kids. Three tables were pulled together to accommodate a gaggle of football jocks in black and white jackets, along with their giggling cheerleader girlfriends. The obligatory pink-clad dumb blonde clique sat next to them.

In the middle were three or four tables of kids who didn’t fit the two opposites, but branched into several different stereotypes. Thankfully, Hannah and her friends seemed to be fairly average, not belonging to any group in particular; except their own.

One table in the corner had no occupants. Although some tables were clearly getting crowded to the point where people were eating lunch off their laps, no one made any move to sit there.

The buzz of chatter suddenly picked up in force. People were craning their necks towards the lunch queue. Hannah grabbed my arm excitedly and started bouncing in her seat.

“Oh Nessie!” she gushed (she had discovered my preferred nickname earlier), “They’re coming, they’re coming!”

“Who’s coming?” I asked, mystified.

“The Cullens.” She replied, almost reverently, pointing to the six figures just settling themselves at the empty table in the corner.

Chapter 1: First Day

Chapter 1: First Day

The beeping of my alarm clock jolted me out of my dream. I moaned and buried my head in the pillow.

Not that I wanted to go back to sleep. There was nothing that would make me want to face those horrifying images again. They were worse than other nightmares, because they were memories; real things that had really happened. I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed yet.

Resigning myself to the fact that getting up was necessary - if only to avoid being forcibly ejected by Jacob - I rolled over and pulled back the covers. I dressed quickly in jeans and a t-shirt, glancing at the clock when I was done.

7:15 am, Monday January 7^th. The first Monday of the new semester. My first day at a new school.

It had been ten years since I last saw my parents and the rest of my family. It was three years since Jake and I realised I wasn’t growing any more. I’d managed to get through freshman year in Florida before Jake picked up an unfamiliar vampire scent on one of his routine sweeps, and decided it was time to move. Again. We were always moving around, so no one could see that I was ageing too fast or that Jacob wasn’t.

Now we were trying to settle down a little, so I could finish school. We had chosen Juneau in Alaska, and Jacob had managed to land himself a job at a garage about 5 minutes from our new house. Not that we were exactly short of money- the stash we had found in my backpack hadn’t quite run out yet- but it would look suspicious, 2 people living alone with no source of income.

I heaved myself out of bed and plodded into the kitchen. Jake was already up, sitting at the counter reading a newspaper and eating toaster waffles (the only thing he could cook).

“Morning sleepyhead!” he said, almost brightly, when he saw me. Jake had this weird way of always acting like I had made his day just by walking into the room. It would have been freaky with anyone else, but, with Jacob, it was comforting.

He pushed a plate of waffles towards me and went back to the paper. I wrinkled my nose, but sat down and started eating. I didn’t have time to hunt this morning.

Note to self, I thought as I chewed. Must convince Jake to let me go out tonight. I NEED MOUNTAIN LION!

________________________________________________________________________

“One more time.”

“Jake, we’ve been through this...”

“I know, I know, a thousand times. Just humour me.” He gave me his best ‘please Ness’ eyes. If there was one thing Jake knew how to do- and do well- it was the puppy dog look.

I huffed, defeated. “Fine. One more time.”

He grinned. It was infuriating and adorable at the same time. Did I just call Jacob adorable?

“Ok, if someone asks your name, you say...”

“Vanessa Wolfe.” I was used to my new name now. It was almost like another life.

As Jacob continued to quiz me on my cover story, I thought about the two people that inhabited my body, switching places as necessary. I had lived this way so long now; they were distinct and separate in my mind.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen, the real me, the one that came out in the house and around Jacob.

A ten year old vampire/human hybrid, daughter of Edward and Isabella Cullen. Living with her mother’s best friend, hasn’t had any contact with her family for most of those ten years; doesn’t even know if they’re still alive. Has lived in Washington, Rio, Texas, Michigan, Florida and Alaska (in that order).

Vanessa Lucy Wolfe, 16, daughter of Christian and Melinda Wolfe (tragically killed in a house fire at a friend’s house when she was only 6). Living with her older brother (27), no other family. Just moved to Alaska from Seattle. She was the one everybody else had to see. For my safety and theirs.

Vanessa had her problems, her share of grieving to do, but it wasn’t as bad as mine. She was my escape. She knew her parents were gone, never coming back. I had hoped, in the beginning, that someone would find us. Even after we moved far from where they had any chance of finding us, the tiniest glimmer of hope that the next knock on the door would be my mom and dad remained in my heart. It still hadn’t gone away; though I had eventually given up hope that they would have survived, it refused to budge, staying locked in my heart.

Once Jake was satisfied that I knew every detail inside out, he kissed my forehead and pointed me in the direction of the front office.

I stood on the kerb, watching the little red VW Rabbit disappear around the corner. I felt so alone, standing there, feeling the stares on the back of my head. This was going to be even worse than last time. Everybody here already had their little groups. I was going to stick out like a sore thumb.

Something flashed in my peripheral vision, drawing my eye to a pristine silver Volvo and a bright red BMW parked across the lot. Ice stabbed at my heart and I shivered. Blocking it from my mind, I took a deep breath and headed for the office.