I
was practically vibrating with excitement as Jacob drove out of town.
He had the window wide open as usual, letting all the scents of the
forest swirl in. It didn’t matter if it was raining or sunny, the
car windows were always open. We both loved the outdoors, and neither
of us minded getting a little wet if it meant we could be closer to
nature. Every few minutes he would glance at the directions that Esme
had given us, even though there were no turnings and no chance of
going the wrong way.
The
anticipation had been building in me ever since we left the school. I
couldn’t to get the smile off my face, which seemed to make Jake
happier too. I wasn’t paying him much attention, but every so
often, I would catch him glancing at me, grinning from ear to ear.
Finally,
at about five minutes to six, we pulled onto an almost hidden
driveway and parked outside a huge house wedged right back into the
trees. It had walls that were half dark wood panelling and half
glass, and the whole thing was made of straight lines and geometric
shapes; like a big stack of boxes. The interior, visible through the
windows, was bright and pale, and I could just make out the big
wooden cross that had belonged to grandpa Carlisle’s father, on its
side at the bottom of the stairs.
Esme
appeared out of nowhere, smiling and waving in the doorway. As soon
as the car stopped, I was out and running. I threw myself into her
arms, finally able to give her a proper greeting. I clung to her -
putting ten years of love and longing into a single embrace – and
breathed in her scent; roasted apples and peppermint, just like I
remembered it. There was also that unidentifiable sweetness that hung
around every vampire I knew, the smell my mother always called
sunshine.
I
didn’t realise I was crying until her cold fingers brushed the
tears from my cheeks.
“Shhh,
sweetheart, it’s ok,” she said softly. “Don’t worry,
everything’s alright. You don’t have to cry.”
I
sniffed and nuzzled my face into her shirt. Her hand stroked my hair
gently.
“I
missed you.” I whispered.
“I
missed you too Nessie. We all did. Everyone’s going to be so happy
to see you.” She pulled back a little to look at me and sighed
happily. “More like your mother every day.”
I
smiled. “Jake says the same thing.”
“Great
minds think alike,” Jake joked, coming up behind me. Esme laughed
and I giggled.
“Well,
let’s not stand around out here all night. Come in, come in! You
must be hungry. I have a fresh batch of cookies just out of the oven,
and I need a taste tester.”
Jacob
licked his lips and bounded up the stairs, where the smell of baking
wafted from, permeating the whole house with its sweet scent. I shook
my head at him. “Werewolves! Ruled by their stomachs.”
Esme
laughed her soft, tinkling laugh and began leading me in the
direction Jake had just gone. I looked around me in wonder. Artwork
from various periods of history hung everywhere, creating a tapestry
of styles. The kitchen was modern and spotless, of course, and opened
out into a large living space. Glass doors at one end led out onto a
wide wooden balcony which had a branch growing over the railing. The
house really was beautifully integrated into the forest. It was so
new and clean, and yet it fit so seamlessly, it was as if it had
always been here.
I
suddenly realised, as I walked beside my grandmother, that I was
actually taller than her, if only slightly. I t made her seem much
smaller than she had before.
“You’ve
shrunk,” I giggled, and she laughed too. I got the feeling she
hadn’t been this happy in a while. I knew I hadn’t.
“Only
in comparison to you darling. My goodness, you have grown, haven’t
you! I’ve only just realised how much!”
We
laughed again, and fell into discussing exactly how much I had grown
and how quickly.
Jacob
managed to polish off most of the cookies, although I did get one or
two. Esme seemed surprised when I asked for one, but didn’t
comment; she only smiled and passed me the biggest one. I may not
have been a fan of human food, but I had one heck of a sweet tooth,
and anything packed with sugar was guaranteed to be a hit with me.
It
was around half past six when the phone rang. Esme excused herself to
answer it, and Jake and I both took another cookie.
“Cullen
residence... oh hello darling!”
I
had only been listening with half my concentration, and Jacob was
focused on his food, but Esme’s words made me sit up and take
notice. I touched his arm, making sure he was listening too.
“Is
everything alright? ... Oh dear, that is unfortunate... of course
sweetheart, I understand... yes... alright, but don’t take too
long. I would really prefer you to be home tonight if possible.”
The
foreboding feeling in my stomach deepened with every word. I had no
doubt that one of my family was on the other end of the line, and
that something was stopping them returning on time, but I couldn’t
fathom what the delay could be.
Esme
laughed.
“Yes,
try not to let the boys get too distracted... yes love, everything’s
fine here... oh, I see! Well if Alice wants to head back, I wouldn’t
mind the company... of course... alright, I’ll see you soon... I
love you too.” She blew a kiss down the phone and hung up.
“What’s
up?” Jake asked. “Is there a problem?”
Esme
nodded. “That was Carlisle. They had to go a little farther than
anticipated, so it’s going to take them an extra half hour to get
home. They’ll be here in about an hour.”
I
huffed in irritation, and then remembered something. “What was that
about Alice?”
She
chuckled. “She just got a little panicky when my future disappeared
about half an hour ago.”
We
all laughed, and then fell back into conversation. We moved into the
living room, and I played a little on the big black piano that
dominated the space. In my absence, Jacob and Esme had moved onto
more adult topics, and I wasn’t required to contribute as much. My
eyes drooped lower and lower as I sat on the wide, comfy couch,
leaning on Jacob’s wide shoulder, his warm arm around me.
I was vaguely aware
of being lifted and carried gently. Then I felt soft, warm sheets,
comfy pillows and lots of space. I rolled onto my side and curled
into a ball before finally succumbing to sleep.
My
nightmare didn’t take long to find me.
“Run!
Run!”
The
words echoed in my head as always; but this time, something was
different. Instead of seeing through the eyes of my childhood self, I
was an observer, outside of the action- unseen and unheard- only able
to watch as events unfolded before my eyes. And I did not like what I
saw.
My
family were crowded together in the centre of the field. It seemed
that all but the Denalis had fled; there were no bonfires at least. I
could see my mother in the middle, with the others clustered around
her; even gentle Esme was crouched defensively, teeth bared against
the ring of black and dark grey cloaks that surrounded them.
One
of the figures in black, who I recognised as Caius, raised one arm.
In his hand was the little silver flame-thrower that had been Irina’s
killer. He aimed it at the huddle; I could see that this angle would
cause the jet of flames to hit my mom square in the chest. My father,
who crouched nearest to her, snarled ferociously, and everyone echoed
him, including me. Caius only smirked, opened the lid and raised his
thumb, ready to set them all alight.
“NO!”
I screeched, but of course, no one heard me. I tried again, louder
this time.
“Momma!
Daddy!” Louder. “Leave them alone!”
I
ran forward, straight through the line of black, ignoring them as
they evaporated into smoke at my touch. I grabbed Caius’ arm and
tugged, but he remained as immovable as the stone he resembled. His
thumb moved.
“NO!”
My
own voice was so loud it jolted me out of my dream. I sat bolt
upright. Sweat matted the hair on my forehead and I was panting. The
usual disorientation clouded my thoughts, and so the voice that spoke
then, though soft, made me jump.
“Hello?
Are you alright?”
The
breath blew out of me all at once, making a whooshing sound. I looked
to where the all too familiar voice came from. There was no light in
the room, but the full moon shone through the glass walls, reflecting
off skin so pale it was practically white, and hair that burned a
fiery bronze. Bright silver eyes, that I knew were really
butterscotch gold, completed a face I knew almost as well as my own.
Unchanged
by the decade that had passed since our separation, my father knelt
on the floor beside me, staring at me incredulously.
“Everything
ok? You were screaming.” His voice was gentle and soft, but I could
tell from his tone that, though I knew him, he did not recognise me.
Oh
god, what now?
“Nightmare.”
I squeaked.
“Oh
dear.” He smiled kindly. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but
would you mind telling me what you are doing in my bed?”
I
couldn’t hold the laugh that broke out of me then; his expression
was comical as he tried to remain calm, polite and impartial while
completely and utterly confused.
“Daddy,
it’s me.” I said, my voice strong, looking him directly in the
eyes for the first time.
He
gasped. “Who...”
“Don’t
you recognise me?” I began to panic. “It’s me, Renesmee. Oh
please say you remember me Daddy, please!”
Tears
dewed in my eyes as I thought about him forgetting me. It was too
painful to contemplate.
All
of a sudden, he wrapped me in his arms and cradled my head against
his shoulder, just the same as he always did when I was little.
“Of
course,” he whispered, “Of course I remember you. How could I
forget my sweet, beautiful, perfect little girl? Oh Nessie...”
He
broke off with a small choking sob, and I knew he would be crying if
he could. I definitely was, tears of happiness streamed down my face
as I clung to him.
Daddy
rocked me gently backwards and forwards, murmuring softly in my ear.
We both breathed deeply, inhaling the others scent. He had that same
sunshine smell as Grandma, but he smelled like cinnamon and pine
trees.
“What
were you dreaming about?” he asked when I was a little quieter. His
curiosity was clearly getting the best of him. “You kept shouting
'no'.”
I
couldn’t speak, couldn’t put into words the horrors of my
nightmares, so I replayed it in my head. He cringed, then growled,
then tightened his arms around me.
“You
have these dreams a lot?”
I
nodded. “Nearly every night, unless I sleep in Jacob’s bed. When
I’m with him, I can forget the bad memories and focus on the good.
But with my nightmares, they're more scary because I knew they're
real. I don’t like them at all.
He
kissed the top of my head, blowing his cool breath into my hair as he
spoke.
“Don’t
worry darling. You’re safe now. I’m here.”
And,
sitting there with his strong arms around me, I knew he was right.
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